陪娃寫作業(yè)被逼瘋？教你十個正確的“陪寫姿勢”
這幾天的朋友圈突然開啟新一輪的父母吐槽陪讀模式——“當代女人快速衰老的真正元兇：陪娃寫作業(yè)！”、“論第一批被00后氣死的80后”…我們一起來感受一下。
輔導拼音10分鐘，心率跳到120次/分鐘！
底下的評論更是厲害，有的說自己要輔導三個孩子，特地戴個心率監(jiān)測表，才能提醒自己不要發(fā)火……
一位家長陪孩子寫作業(yè)到五年級，然后心梗住院了，還做了兩個支架。最后他終于頓悟：想來想去還是命重要，作業(yè)什么的就順其自然吧！
家長們在慶祝找到組織的同時，紛紛轉發(fā)評論，爆料自己的陪讀經(jīng)歷，簡直就是一部驚天動地的《陪讀血淚史》……
為什么孩子做作業(yè)總是磨蹭？家長的輔導方式真的有效嗎？一起來看看外國專家們給家長支的十招，教你如何避免和孩子的家庭作業(yè)較勁。
孩子拖延或者干脆罷工，是因為他們沒有認識到任務有什么意義，要么有其他事情分心，要么在理解、組織或動力方面遇到困難。不停地催促并不管用。?
如果陪讀時有一點創(chuàng)造性，父母可以幫助孩子克服這些障礙，提高效率。以下就是鼓勵孩子更加自信地完成作業(yè)，減少沖突的十種辦法。
1. Establish routines and discourage bad habits
形成固定作息，克服壞習慣
Set the tone with an uncluttered, well-equipped study space, and create a consistent schedule that includes breaks.
先找一個干凈整潔、設施完備的學習空間，制定一個能堅持下去的作息時間表。
Prevent bad habits by intervening when kids toggle between texting and studying, sacrifice sleep for gaming or start work at midnight.
當孩子一會兒發(fā)短信一會兒學習，不睡覺打游戲，或者半夜才開始寫作業(yè)時，家長要及時阻止這些壞習慣。
2. Name and tame negative voices
戰(zhàn)勝軟弱心理，并為之命名
Train kids to notice defeatist thoughts. When a voice whispers, “You’re not good at math,” they can give it a name, such as Mike. Ask them to choose a different name for a voice that affirms they are good at something. Then say: “It’s not you. Mike is causing you problems.”
教會孩子留意失敗主義的想法。當有個聲音悄悄地說“你不擅長數(shù)學”時，他們可以給這個聲音起一個名字，例如麥克。讓他們再選擇一個不同的名字，代表一個肯定他們擅長的某項活動的聲音。然后說：“這不是你。這是麥克在找你麻煩。”
3. Dress for success
穿戴“成功服飾”
Have your kids choose special learning attire, such as a thinking hat or a pair of glasses, that they wear only while studying. Researchers at Northwestern University found that even adults are influenced by their clothing. In a study published in the journal Child Development, researchers found that young children persevered longer when they pretended to be a superhero.
讓孩子挑一套特別的學習服飾，例如一頂思考帽，或一副眼鏡，只在學習時穿戴。美國西北大學的研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，即使是成年人們也會受到所穿服飾的影響。研究人員在《兒童發(fā)展》期刊發(fā)表的一篇文章中說，當孩子們假裝成超級英雄時，他們堅持學習的時間更長。
4. Let school be the bad guy
讓學校當壞人
If negotiating homework becomes toxic, it is time to contact the child’s teacher or school counselor. Jennifer Goodstein, a sixth-grade teacher in Bethesda, Md. , says she tells parents to stop and write her an email when their child melts down. “We can be the bad guys and say, ‘Okay, Brendan, you were fighting with your mother, so you’re going to do the work here,’ ” she says.
如果很難與孩子就作業(yè)進行溝通，就要聯(lián)系孩子的老師或者輔導員。馬里蘭州貝塞斯達的六年級教師珍妮弗?古德斯坦說，她讓家長在孩子不聽話時給她寫郵件。她說：“我們可以當壞人，出面說‘好啊，布倫丹，你跟媽媽對著干，那么你到這兒來完成作業(yè)吧。’”
5. Give kids options, but inspect what you expect
孩子選擇，家長監(jiān)督
Allow kids to choose when they work or how they would like to approach a teacher, but follow up, says Kim Campbell, a consultant for the Association for Middle Level Educators in Minnetonka, Minn. If kids promise to connect with a teacher on their own, they need to know what will happen if they do not follow through.
明尼蘇達州中等水平教育者協(xié)會顧問金?坎貝爾說，讓孩子自己選擇什么時候寫作業(yè)，或者如何與老師打交道。如果孩子保證自己聯(lián)系老師，他們需要知道，如果他們不照做會有何種后果。
6. Introduce physical breaks
休息時活動筋骨
“When I see that kids are falling asleep, we’ll do 20 jumping jacks, or play rock-paper-scissors, or pretend we’re in the ocean and there are sharks and we need to swim really fast,” Campbell says. To enhance concentration, she recommends that kids take a walk, play sports or go on a bike ride before they start homework.
坎貝爾說：“當我看到孩子們昏昏欲睡時，我們會做20個開合跳，或者玩會兒石頭剪刀布，或者假裝我們在大海里，有鯊魚，我們需要飛快地游泳。”為了提高專注力，她建議讓孩子在做作業(yè)前散會兒步，做做體育活動，或騎會兒自行車。
7. Establish reward systems
建立獎勵制度
Rewards work best when they are immediate. “You earn them when you do your homework for a week, not a quarter,” Campbell says. “Some parents will say you have to get all A’s for the semester, but long-term goals don’t work.” The payoff can be something small, such as stickers to decorate their notebook.
如果獎勵是立竿見影的，就能發(fā)揮最大的作用。坎貝爾說：“比如，只要連續(xù)一周做完作業(yè)就可以獲得獎勵。一些家長會說你這學期所有科目都要得A，但長期目標不起作用。”這種獎勵可以是某種小東西，例如用來裝飾筆記本用的貼紙。
8. Make modifications and connections
讓作業(yè)變得有趣
Enhance the homework experience by taking field trips or making connections to sports, popular media or current events. Parents also can make the most of technology. Kids can study with friends online or use apps to make flashcards, break units into smaller exercises or brainstorm ideas for essays.
家長可以帶孩子進行戶外探險，或者把作業(yè)與體育活動、流行事物、當前事件聯(lián)系起來，從而讓做作業(yè)變得更有趣。家長還可以充分利用技術手段。孩子可以在網(wǎng)上和朋友們一起學習，利用應用程序制作單詞卡，或者把大量作業(yè)分成小練習，或者寫作文前搞個頭腦風暴。
But don’t do the work for them. As Wormeli says, “What’s the greater gift we can give our kids, that they learn it and it goes into long-term memory, or that they get a false sense of competency?”
但不要替他們做作業(yè)。正如沃姆利所說：“我們能給孩子的更好的禮物，是他們自己學會，形成長期記憶，還是他們對能力形成錯誤認識？”
9. Identify role models to build grit
樹立行為榜樣，增強毅力
Parents can ask kids to name people they admire, whether they are professional athletes or favorite writers. When the child wants to give up, ask what that role model would do.
父母可以讓孩子說出他們崇拜的人，不管是職業(yè)運動員還是喜歡的作家。當孩子想要放棄時，問問他們，自己的榜樣會怎么做。
10. Go easy on the pressure
不要施加太大壓力
Too much pressure causes kids to push back. “At an age when you’re just starting to discover who you are, you’re already being told who you need to be,” Jovanovic says. “When the gap between who you want to be and who your parents need you to be is big, you start rebelling.”
太大的壓力會讓孩子退卻。（心理學家）約萬諾維奇說：“當孩子還處在發(fā)現(xiàn)自己是誰的年齡階段時候，已經(jīng)被告知需要成為什么樣的人。當孩子想成為的人與父母需要他成為的人之間存在巨大差距時，他會逐漸變得叛逆。”
這幾天的朋友圈突然開啟新一輪的父母吐槽陪讀模式——“當代女人快速衰老的真正元兇：陪娃寫作業(yè)！”、“論第一批被00后氣死的80后”…我們一起來感受一下。
輔導拼音10分鐘，心率跳到120次/分鐘！
底下的評論更是厲害，有的說自己要輔導三個孩子，特地戴個心率監(jiān)測表，才能提醒自己不要發(fā)火……
一位家長陪孩子寫作業(yè)到五年級，然后心梗住院了，還做了兩個支架。最后他終于頓悟：想來想去還是命重要，作業(yè)什么的就順其自然吧！
家長們在慶祝找到組織的同時，紛紛轉發(fā)評論，爆料自己的陪讀經(jīng)歷，簡直就是一部驚天動地的《陪讀血淚史》……
為什么孩子做作業(yè)總是磨蹭？家長的輔導方式真的有效嗎？一起來看看外國專家們給家長支的十招，教你如何避免和孩子的家庭作業(yè)較勁。
孩子拖延或者干脆罷工，是因為他們沒有認識到任務有什么意義，要么有其他事情分心，要么在理解、組織或動力方面遇到困難。不停地催促并不管用。?
如果陪讀時有一點創(chuàng)造性，父母可以幫助孩子克服這些障礙，提高效率。以下就是鼓勵孩子更加自信地完成作業(yè)，減少沖突的十種辦法。
1. Establish routines and discourage bad habits
形成固定作息，克服壞習慣
Set the tone with an uncluttered, well-equipped study space, and create a consistent schedule that includes breaks.
先找一個干凈整潔、設施完備的學習空間，制定一個能堅持下去的作息時間表。
Prevent bad habits by intervening when kids toggle between texting and studying, sacrifice sleep for gaming or start work at midnight.
當孩子一會兒發(fā)短信一會兒學習，不睡覺打游戲，或者半夜才開始寫作業(yè)時，家長要及時阻止這些壞習慣。
2. Name and tame negative voices
戰(zhàn)勝軟弱心理，并為之命名
Train kids to notice defeatist thoughts. When a voice whispers, “You’re not good at math,” they can give it a name, such as Mike. Ask them to choose a different name for a voice that affirms they are good at something. Then say: “It’s not you. Mike is causing you problems.”
教會孩子留意失敗主義的想法。當有個聲音悄悄地說“你不擅長數(shù)學”時，他們可以給這個聲音起一個名字，例如麥克。讓他們再選擇一個不同的名字，代表一個肯定他們擅長的某項活動的聲音。然后說：“這不是你。這是麥克在找你麻煩。”
3. Dress for success
穿戴“成功服飾”
Have your kids choose special learning attire, such as a thinking hat or a pair of glasses, that they wear only while studying. Researchers at Northwestern University found that even adults are influenced by their clothing. In a study published in the journal Child Development, researchers found that young children persevered longer when they pretended to be a superhero.
讓孩子挑一套特別的學習服飾，例如一頂思考帽，或一副眼鏡，只在學習時穿戴。美國西北大學的研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，即使是成年人們也會受到所穿服飾的影響。研究人員在《兒童發(fā)展》期刊發(fā)表的一篇文章中說，當孩子們假裝成超級英雄時，他們堅持學習的時間更長。
4. Let school be the bad guy
讓學校當壞人
If negotiating homework becomes toxic, it is time to contact the child’s teacher or school counselor. Jennifer Goodstein, a sixth-grade teacher in Bethesda, Md. , says she tells parents to stop and write her an email when their child melts down. “We can be the bad guys and say, ‘Okay, Brendan, you were fighting with your mother, so you’re going to do the work here,’ ” she says.
如果很難與孩子就作業(yè)進行溝通，就要聯(lián)系孩子的老師或者輔導員。馬里蘭州貝塞斯達的六年級教師珍妮弗?古德斯坦說，她讓家長在孩子不聽話時給她寫郵件。她說：“我們可以當壞人，出面說‘好啊，布倫丹，你跟媽媽對著干，那么你到這兒來完成作業(yè)吧。’”
5. Give kids options, but inspect what you expect
孩子選擇，家長監(jiān)督
Allow kids to choose when they work or how they would like to approach a teacher, but follow up, says Kim Campbell, a consultant for the Association for Middle Level Educators in Minnetonka, Minn. If kids promise to connect with a teacher on their own, they need to know what will happen if they do not follow through.
明尼蘇達州中等水平教育者協(xié)會顧問金?坎貝爾說，讓孩子自己選擇什么時候寫作業(yè)，或者如何與老師打交道。如果孩子保證自己聯(lián)系老師，他們需要知道，如果他們不照做會有何種后果。
6. Introduce physical breaks
休息時活動筋骨
“When I see that kids are falling asleep, we’ll do 20 jumping jacks, or play rock-paper-scissors, or pretend we’re in the ocean and there are sharks and we need to swim really fast,” Campbell says. To enhance concentration, she recommends that kids take a walk, play sports or go on a bike ride before they start homework.
坎貝爾說：“當我看到孩子們昏昏欲睡時，我們會做20個開合跳，或者玩會兒石頭剪刀布，或者假裝我們在大海里，有鯊魚，我們需要飛快地游泳。”為了提高專注力，她建議讓孩子在做作業(yè)前散會兒步，做做體育活動，或騎會兒自行車。
7. Establish reward systems
建立獎勵制度
Rewards work best when they are immediate. “You earn them when you do your homework for a week, not a quarter,” Campbell says. “Some parents will say you have to get all A’s for the semester, but long-term goals don’t work.” The payoff can be something small, such as stickers to decorate their notebook.
如果獎勵是立竿見影的，就能發(fā)揮最大的作用。坎貝爾說：“比如，只要連續(xù)一周做完作業(yè)就可以獲得獎勵。一些家長會說你這學期所有科目都要得A，但長期目標不起作用。”這種獎勵可以是某種小東西，例如用來裝飾筆記本用的貼紙。
8. Make modifications and connections
讓作業(yè)變得有趣
Enhance the homework experience by taking field trips or making connections to sports, popular media or current events. Parents also can make the most of technology. Kids can study with friends online or use apps to make flashcards, break units into smaller exercises or brainstorm ideas for essays.
家長可以帶孩子進行戶外探險，或者把作業(yè)與體育活動、流行事物、當前事件聯(lián)系起來，從而讓做作業(yè)變得更有趣。家長還可以充分利用技術手段。孩子可以在網(wǎng)上和朋友們一起學習，利用應用程序制作單詞卡，或者把大量作業(yè)分成小練習，或者寫作文前搞個頭腦風暴。
But don’t do the work for them. As Wormeli says, “What’s the greater gift we can give our kids, that they learn it and it goes into long-term memory, or that they get a false sense of competency?”
但不要替他們做作業(yè)。正如沃姆利所說：“我們能給孩子的更好的禮物，是他們自己學會，形成長期記憶，還是他們對能力形成錯誤認識？”
9. Identify role models to build grit
樹立行為榜樣，增強毅力
Parents can ask kids to name people they admire, whether they are professional athletes or favorite writers. When the child wants to give up, ask what that role model would do.
父母可以讓孩子說出他們崇拜的人，不管是職業(yè)運動員還是喜歡的作家。當孩子想要放棄時，問問他們，自己的榜樣會怎么做。
10. Go easy on the pressure
不要施加太大壓力
Too much pressure causes kids to push back. “At an age when you’re just starting to discover who you are, you’re already being told who you need to be,” Jovanovic says. “When the gap between who you want to be and who your parents need you to be is big, you start rebelling.”
太大的壓力會讓孩子退卻。（心理學家）約萬諾維奇說：“當孩子還處在發(fā)現(xiàn)自己是誰的年齡階段時候，已經(jīng)被告知需要成為什么樣的人。當孩子想成為的人與父母需要他成為的人之間存在巨大差距時，他會逐漸變得叛逆。”
